COLUMN: No Bullshitting!!! By Harry Agina

 

PEGASUS REPORTERS, LAGOS | NOVEMBER 25, 2021

THE 2021 ANAMBRA STATE GOVERNORSHIP ELECTION IN NIGERIA: ALL HAIL PRESIDENT MUHAMMADU BUHARI FOR A SHOW OF INTEGRITY!!!

Greetings, folks!

You know, I woke up early this morning with a thought weighing heavily on my mind and conscience. Um huh, my conscience was both pricking and panging me at the same time. And, you know why? Of course, you can’t even begin to guess; so, I’ll tell ya, pronto! I have done something very wrong, or, should I say that there’s something that I have not done right. Yes, indeed, I do pride myself that the trinity of “Mr. No Bullshitting”—‘me’, ‘myself’, and ‘I’—live on the motto of OBJECTIVITY-CUM-SINCERITY. ‘We’ don’t hate anybody that ‘we’ pick as a subject; what ‘we’ hate are the bad or evil deeds of the subject. Hence, you can liken ‘our’ disposition to that of God Almighty in the biblical analogical or proverbial story of “The Prodigal Son”, meeeeeeeeen!!!

Um huh! When the prodigal son went astray and became bad, his father had an issue with him; but, as soon as the prodigal son changed his bad ways and returned home a repentant man, his father quickly forgave him and lavished great love on him. He welcomed him back home with pump and pageantry, in joyous celebration. Yeah, I know, I am talking too much again, and you are most likely impatient with me now; wondering what the fuck is Harry rambling about! “Come on out with it already, and stop the bullshitting suspense”, you’re probably saying now; right? Okay then, I will tell ya, pronto! I speak of the recent governorship election in Anambra State of southeast Nigeria, and the wonderful conduct of Nigeria’s armed forces. I speak not only of their great job of providing watertight security, but also, and especially their INTEGRITY and IMPARTIALITY in their conduct, meeeeeeen!!!

Yes, it behooves me to praise Nigeria’s armed forces, because I always lambast them whenever they fuck up. And now, like the prodigal son, they have retraced their bad ways, and I must hail them for it. I honestly did not expect them to behave well at the Anambra election; no, that’s an understatement; I mean that I ACTUALLY FEARED THAT THEY WOULD COMMIT TWO FORMS OF ATROCITIES. Firstly, I was afraid that some members of the armed forces who hate the Igbo tribe with a passion would hide under some activities and pronouncements of the proscribed “Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB)” to massacre some innocent Igbo people during the election. Secondly, I was almost sure that the armed forces would work with the ruling political party, the APC, and its ALLEGED EVIL candidate to rig the election in favor of APC. And, typical of No Bullshitting, I did not stop at just being afraid, I actually did blog about those fears, as seen through this link:  https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=4986595941380010&id=100000889607067

Sure, I know that I am always pissed off when Nigerians practically grovel, worship, and thank our leaders for doing what we put them there to do, and actually overpay them, no, I mean that they overpay themselves for the job. But, I tell ya, I am willing to swallow my own condemnation of that trait this one time, and thank President Muhammadu Buhari, who, obviously, gave a SINCERE COMMAND to the armed forces to conduct themselves with integrity and sincerity in Anambra State during the November 6 election. I almost know for a FACT that he must have given the commanders of the armed forces a strict directive to ensure that their officers behaved themselves, and, I will tell you why I know this, pronto! Going by past activities, there are certainly a lot of soldiers and police officers who truly hate the Igbo race, and would have loved to commit atrocities against innocent Igbo people during that election. So, once again, I praise and thank our president and Commander-In-Chief for ensuring a safe and credible election in Anambra State on November 6, 2021. I pray God to give Buhari all that it takes to continue, henceforth, in this wonderful mode of fairness, in everything that he does in the rest of his presidency. I pray that the days of “A Dot in a Circle” who must be “treated in the language that they understand” are now over, meeeeeeen!!!

As for the APC candidate in the election, Mr. Andy Uba, I wonder when someone will tell that sucker the truth that he will never be the governor of Anambra State. He has been ALLEGED and ACCUSED to have committed all manner of atrocities in his persistent quest to become the governor of our beloved Anambra State. Somebody needs to inform him that it ain’t ever gonna happen. The sooner he realizes that my people hate him and what he stands for, the better for him; so that he will stop wasting all that money that is ALLEGED to be UNCLEAN money, in his fruitless quest. He did not climb that seat when election-rigging was easy; so, what the fuck makes him to think that he will ever climb the seat now that electoral reform has made rigging very difficult, meeeeeeeen!!!

Once again, I love President Buhari for refusing to rig this last election for Uba. I believe that Uba was hoping on the machinery of Buhari’s ruling APC to rig him into the seat. First, I heard that he cried “foul” soon after the election, claiming that some people received his money and did not deliver their promises to him. I wonder what the fuck he wanted the people who took his money to do for him, after he had rendered himself unmarketable; rig the election for him, huh? And now, I understand that he wants to challenge the winner in court. Well, that’s his fucking prerogative. He does have that democratic right, and he also has too much ALLEGED UNCLEAN money to burn in his fruitless ventures anyway. He came a distant third, and he wants to waste more money in court on an election that most observers saw/see as one of the freest and fairest elections in Anambra in a long time. You do know that, as always, I ain’t bullshitting ya, meeeeeeen!!!

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