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A strong and solid sense of self-esteem comes from deep within, from a belief in your importance, your value, and your worthiness.
*Mrs. Tai Isong
PEGASUS REPORTERS, LAGOS | DECEMBER 19, 2021
Self-esteem is the opinion we have of ourselves, we all have a need to have a little confidence when it comes to dealing with others, and the more we understand about how to improve our own self image,the better we will feel.
When we have healthy self-esteem, we tend to feel positive about ourselves and about life in general. It makes us better able to deal with life’s ups and downs.
If you have low self-esteem, harness the power of your thoughts and beliefs to change how you feel about yourself.
Low self-esteem often begins in childhood,our teachers, friends, siblings, parents, and even the media send us positive and negative messages about ourselves that we have been made to believe and thus we have constantly feed our subconscious with it.For some reason, the message that you are not good enough is the one that stays with you,mostly the negative messages.
Perhaps you found it difficult to live up to other people’s expectations of you, or to your own expectations.Living with low self-esteem can harm your mental health and lead to problems such as depression and anxiety, fears and break down in communication within your marriage.
Stress and difficult life events, such as serious illness or a bereavement can have a negative effect on self-esteem.
Personality can also play a part! Some people are just more prone to negative thinking, while others set impossibly high standards for themselves. Everyone experiences bouts of self-doubt, but if low self-esteem is affecting your life, try these tactics to build confidence and boost your self-esteem,Your sense of self-worth will impact every arena of your life. Your job, your relationships, and even your physical, mental and sexual health are a reflection of your self-esteem. When our self-esteem is low, we tend to see ourselves and our life in a more negative and critical light. We also feel less able to take on the challenges that life throws at us.
What exactly helps shape your view of yourself and your abilities? The truth is that your level of self-esteem may have grown or shrunk based on how people have treated you in the past and the evaluations you’ve made about your life and your choices.
There are simple, concrete changes you can make that challenge your mind and your body. The good news is that there are many ways to improve self-esteem, which we will look at below. One such change is to take steps to reduce negative thinking and build up positive, encouraging thoughts about the person you are and can be.
- Start saying “No”
People with low self-esteem often feel they have to say yes to other people, even when they do not really want to. The risk is that you become overburdened, resentful, angry and depressed. For the most part, saying no does not upset relationships. It can be helpful to keep saying no, but in different ways, until they get the message. - Identify triggers – You can’t change certain situations, but you can change how you react to them and understand them. That starts with paying attention to what makes you feel sad or anxious.
Be kind to yourself- Being kind to yourself means being gentle to yourself at times when you feel like being self-critical.Take an Inventory-Consider what talents, abilities, and passions you have not listed or maybe even discovered yet. Never assume you know everything about yourself and what you’re capable of. People with high self-esteem leave room for self-discovery every day. - Recognise what you’re good at-We’re all good at something, whether it’s cooking, singing, doing puzzles or being a friend. We also tend to enjoy doing the things we’re good at, which can help boost your mood.
- Stop Comparing Yourself-Other people can’t be the standard when it comes to your self-esteem. This is because you’ll always find someone who appears better than you or more capable than you in any arena of life.But the more you challenge your thoughts and perspectives, the greater joy you can find in yourself and your abilities. You’ll feel proud of how far you’ve come, and you’ll look forward to the future.
- Give yourself a challenge
We all feel nervous or afraid to do things at times. But people with healthy self-esteem do not let these feelings stop them trying new things or taking on challenges - Listen to your body. When we are trying to improve our self-esteem, we tend to focus too much on our outward appearance, rather than the inside of our bodies. But, the fact is that the whole of our being is inside us, and it is important to accept this rather than being concerned with our external appearance. While the dictionary defines it as “confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect,” put simply, self-esteem is the overall sense or feeling you have about your own self-worth or self-value.
Self-confidence, on the other hand, is more about how you feel about your abilities and will vary from situation to situation. You can have great self-esteem (feeling good about yourself overall) but low self-confidence about a particular situation or event (e.g. public speaking). Or, maybe you’ve got great self-confidence in an area (e.g. a sport that you play) but low self-esteem overall.
A strong and solid sense of self-esteem comes from deep within, from a belief in your importance, your value, and your worthiness.
Causes of Low Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem can stem from many areas. It is largely influenced by how other people see and treat us, and our relationships, which is why the influence of our parents has the most significant impact on our self-esteem. Here are some of the most common causes of low self-esteem:
- An Unhappy Childhood
Those who grew up with critical, abusive, or neglectful parents are more likely to face challenges with their own self-worth, while those who experienced acceptance, approval, and affection are more likely to have a higher sense of self-value. - Traumatic Experiences
Lower levels of self-esteem can also stem from bad experiences or traumatic events, such as being bullied or being in an emotionally abusive relationship. Essentially, it can stem from anything that has brought up feelings of shame, guilt, or worthlessness. - Experiences of Failure
For some, lower self-esteem is connected to their success and accomplishments, or lack thereof, including experiences of failure, or not achieving goals or expectations. - Negative Self-Talk
Many cases of low self-esteem are perpetuated by negative self-talk. This could be a story that you have created yourself or that someone else created for you long ago that you continue to believe, and it gets in the way of learning how to build self-esteem.
How To Improve Yourself Esteem
- Give yourself a break.
- Become more assertive and learn to say no.
- Be the change you want to see.
- Identify and challenge your negative beliefs.
- Identify the positive about yourself.
It is very unlikely that you will go from poor to good self-esteem overnight.
When you feel good, or you do something good, celebrate it and don’t beat yourself up, if you occasionally slip back into negative patterns of thinking it’s ok. Just pick yourself up again and try to think more positively. Eventually, this will become a habit and you will find that your self-esteem has quietly got better. It is much easier to feel good about ourselves when we are fit and healthy.
However, people with low self-esteem often neglect themselves, because they do not feel that they ‘deserve’ to be looked after.You don’t have to be perfect every hour of every day. You don’t even have to feel good about yourself all the time.
Self-esteem varies from situation to situation, from day to day and hour to hour. Some people feel relaxed and positive with friends and colleagues, but uneasy and shy with strangers. Others may feel totally in command of themselves at work but struggle socially (or vice versa).
Use hopeful statements-Treat yourself with kindness and encouragement. Instead of thinking your presentation won’t go well, try telling yourself things such as, “Even though it’s tough, I can handle this situation.”
Forgive yourself-everyone makes mistakes — and mistakes aren’t permanent reflections on you as a person. They’re isolated moments in time. Tell yourself, “I made a mistake, but that doesn’t make me a bad person.”
Avoid ‘should’ and ‘must’ statements. If you find that your thoughts are full of these words, you might be putting unreasonable demands on yourself — or on others. Removing these words from your thoughts can lead to more realistic expectations.
Be your own chaperone,learn and utilize all that is listed above to better improve yourself.
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