Maturity in Marital Crises involving Infidelity – Benjamin Adebisi

 

“Most importantly to know is that if your partner had been sexually active with other people before you got married, a lot of talks need to be held on what they are looking for sexually and what their gratification and satisfaction will be. Conclusively, though on a lighter note, blowjob is very important, and it is good that housewives learn, and men should also learn to do things that their wife would not be looking for who to give oral sex in the street”

PEGASUS REPORTERS, LAGOS | AUGUST 29, 2024

A couple was at the family court, with husband being the plaintiff, unsure about the biological paternity of their son, Issac, who is the first child after about 11 years in marriage.

As the name of the kid implied, Issac, a child they had waited for so long, a few months-old baby, given birth in the midst of tumultuous relationship of his parents. According to the man, let’s call him, Mr. K.; he was unsure if the child is biologically his, (although his wife strongly believed otherwise), as according to him, his wife had been having series of affairs and he had evidence of several people he knows coming to him that they were intimate with his wife.

To verify his claim, he said his wife had oral sex, fellatio, blowjob, with a man. The allegation of oral sex of course, is one that sounds debasing for a married woman, inciting so much excitement among the audience in the court and even the female judge, presiding over the case. When the man mentioned the situation of oral sex, the judge said “oh wow! (Facing the wife); was it true you were having orals with a man?”. The wife, appeared to be matured than everyone in the court including the judge, by saying “Your Honour! There were situations of extramarital affairs on both sides”.

That intelligent answer attenuated the unnecessary explicit details of her affair and the exuberance of those in the court exclaiming at the oral sex scenario. However, the judge asked if it was true the husband, too, was having affair with other women; he did not deny that. Nevertheless, he claimed the relationship with his wife was laden with periods of separations and reunions, on and off, and it was the hope of having a child together with his wife that they kept coming back to the marriage.

Now, the judge asked if the man was ready to take the responsibilities of making amends and reconciling with his wife, if the kid is his. The man was positive about it, he said he is ready to make things straight and be a better man, because he had waited to have a child in his life and Issac coming could change everything, if DNA proved he fathered the boy.

Interestingly, Mr. K was there with his wife when Issac was born, he named the child and had been responsible for the baby’s upkeep until he began to doubt the boy’s paternity. Then, comes the DNA results from the Diagnostics Department that the boy was Mr. K’s biological child. The man could not hold both his tears and excitement, he, however, promised to accept to take his wife and child and be a better person in the marriage.

In any ways, some salient attitudes should have exacerbated the case if it was not in an honourable family court and if the wife was not mature enough at her answers.

1. Firstly, is the allegation of oral sex; quite disrespectful is to mention your wife having another man’s penis in her mouth pleasuring him, but, this is what sexual activity is all about. It is all encompassing. If there was an intimacy between your partner and another person, you should expect they had the full package of the fun; you know- kissing, oral sex, changing styles, penis sliding out and reinserting back to the vagina, several rounds and various locations; which, sadly, those details are not really necessary because that was not what brought them to court.

2. Secondly, is the fact that some married individuals are selfish not to satisfy their partners sexually yet forbid or frown at their spouses seeking sexual gratification outside, even when they are not ready to improve or do anything about them satisfyingly; but still that was not why they were in court.

3. Thirdly, is the reality that the Man, husband, also had extramarital affair, plausibly those involving other people’s wives, some might even involve the oral sex which he disrespectfully accused his own wife of doing with other men; everybody loves blowjob anyway, but no one wants his wife to do it to other men, even why they could happily receive from other men’s wife. But that was not why they are in court.

4. The intensification of the number of partners that his wife had;- when the judge asked how many times and people was the woman having intimacy with, the woman said three, 3, men and that was when the couples were away separated before coming together to conceive the pregnancy; however, during interrogations, the man interrupted his wife and said 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11. The judge, startled, was like “how many exactly, Mr. K.! and how were you able to know the numbers and you were not even certain what number it was?” Mr. K. insisted they were many, but the wife said just 3; however, again, that was not why they are in court.

Essentially, the couple was at the family court to prove Mr. K. ‘s biological paternity of Issac’s, which thankfully was his. Despite the waiting and investment on conceiving their only child, the family was to suffer a collapse, not really because of infidelity, which has been noted to be common in most marriages, but immaturity and detailing of unnecessary pieces of information about what went on.

The euphemism, “infidelity” would have been enough for the betrayal of trust but going into some unhealth details of oral sex, she is inserting the man’s dick back after sliding out, shenanigans, and also the number of partners, there are, and where they were having coitus, would have elicited more damages, which could have been irreparable. Additionally, the infidelity was actually not the issue, as the man was not also innocent but the reactions of people, whose opinions are inconsequential in the family problem.

In my own opinion, the man was very disrespectful to his wife; the court could have taken that “Mr. K. unsure of the biological paternity of Issac, was on the suspicion of the extramarital relationship his wife had, when she conceived” and the mentioning of oral sex, inciting the excitement of the audience, trying to paint the woman promiscuously, was uncalled for.

Sadly, the man took the same oral sex elsewhere.

Summarily, I strongly believed couple intensify on discussing sexual preferences, satisfactions and exhibitions before setting up a marriage; I will continue to say that people have prerogatives over their own body and could decide what they wanted to do with it, until a clear agreement is stated on health grounds and issues relating to a case like this, involving paternity issue.

Again, it is not very rational claiming you are trusting your spouses on what they do with their body to feel comfortable when you are not really there to offer what they wanted or ready to learn or improve on such. Most importantly to know is that if your partner had been sexually active with other people before you got married, a lot of talks need to be held on what they are looking for sexually and what their gratification and satisfaction will be.

Conclusively, though on a lighter note, blowjob is very important, and it is good that housewives learn, and men should also learn to do things that their wife would not be looking for who to give oral sex in the street.

Benjamin Adebisi teaches Neurology and Molecular Biology

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