Pegasus Reporters Issues on the Wing
“The importance of communication in marriage is often not taken seriously as many couples tend to think that the daily banter or the lack of it doesn’t affect them on a day-to-day basis. But communication is the vehicle through which all other important parts of marriage are performed”
*Coach Tai Isong
PEGASUS REPORTERS, LAGOS | OCTOBER 23, 2021
Communication in a relationship is the key to a great marriage.Everyone deserves to have a healthy marriage/relationships. Open husband and wife communication is the cornerstone of any and every long and loving marriage. Communication is the expression that produces a marriage worthy of envying. Showing that love, showcasing your trust, and acting honestly is where the magic is. Being able to communicate how much your wife or husband means to you is where your marriage goes from good to great.
Communication is more than just speaking, though. There is verbal communication, nonverbal communication, and physical acts that can be placed under the umbrella of communication. Let’s have a look at these different types of communication which will help you understand the importance of communication in marriage in a better way.
Without an open and genuine dialogue between husband and wife, a marriage will meet more obstacles. Healthy communication is the foundation for marriage that will help the marriage sustain through time.
SIX KEYS TO POOR COMMUNICATION
1. EMOTIONAL INVALIDATION
What it is: When you tell your spouse how he or she should feel, using such phrases as “It’s not a big deal,” “Stop overreacting” or “You’re being too dramatic.”you’re too petty,etc.
CORRECTION; Employ active listening. Hear what your partner is saying, rather than dismiss it outright, reflect their feelings and show your understanding. “I understand that you’re feeling frustrated.” and make amend.
2.NOT COMMUNICATING YOUR NEEDS
What It Is: Silently expecting your partner to automatically know what you need and how to meet those needs without you ever having to ask. If you think that your partner should be meeting your needs, but you’re not communicating, then you are slowly going to build anger and resentment. Keep in mind that your partner may not have any idea that there is a problem, and therefore can’t react accordingly.
CORRECTION; Meet your needs inside yourself before you ask someone else to meet your needs,” “For example, if you have a need to be respected, respect yourself. You can only receive respect to the degree you respect yourself.” women are mirrors and they reflect what you display back to you.
3. IGNORING BIDS FOR CONNECTION
What It Is: With life being as full of distractions as it can be, it can be hard for couples to feel connected. Often, one spouse feels overwhelmed and burnt out because the other is not attentive to its environment or the other will make a so-called “bid for connection,” which could be something as simple as reaching out to hold hands, or trying to initiate conversation, and it goes ignored it can be isolating for your spouse, making them feel as though you aren’t interested in them or that they are alone in the marriage.
CORRECTIONS; Learn to pick up on the cues your partner is sending out and, if you can’t, ask them what those cues are. “Talk about bids for connection in a calm, neutral space,” Great communication in relationships is a skill that you can learn. It takes practice. And it takes a teacher that can show you how. Power of Two is designed to teach you the skills to master the art of communication free of any fighting, bitterness, or distrust.pay attention to your partners needs and watch out for clues.
4.DISTRACTION BY OTHER FORMS.
Partner one feels like partner two is not giving them the proper attention and, at the very least, a tinge of resentment occurs. Partner one feels invalidated; by not explaining where their head was at a particular time, partner two didn’t express their needs very well. In a great relationship couples talk freely, openly, and feel safe sharing their most private thoughts. They comfortably and considerately verbalize their concerns and feelings when difficulties arise and voice their positive thoughts when things are good.
Seriously, every issue, large or small, that plagues a marriage likely stems from some sort of communication breakdown CORRECTION; Proper communication can be difficult in a marriage because of course it can. The only way we can get better at it is to, well, try to get better at it and determination by both to learn and work it together.
5. DO YOU HAVE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR
What It Is: Instead of telling your partner how you’re feeling about a situation, you respond in an off-handed way (“I’m fine.”), offering no eye contact or cold body language. Why It’s a Problem: In a sense, this behavior is a power grab that holds your partner hostage. “This kind of indirect communication is a problem because it does not allow for honest, open dialogue about what each person needs to feel good in the relationship,
The indirect, subtle yet strong emotions that are felt but not talked about will create tension and resentment between both parties in the relationship.
CORRECTION: Express how you feel directly and up front. Don’t wait for a situation to grow worse before you address it. “Start using an ‘I’ statement and describe what you think and feel about your partner’s behavior.Then start a conversation about how you can handle it differently so that it does not cause tension in your marriage moving forward.”
6. COMPETITIVENESS
What It Is: The constant need to win, Am the head and must be heard first, your opinion is not right mentality,i know it all without hearing from the other person will not resolve the situation. Why It’s a Problem: When couples can’t resolve conflicts in a healthy way, the goal becomes trying to one-up each other instead of focusing on the problem at hand will create more toxicity.Compromise goes out the window and nothing ever gets resolved.
7. CORRECTION: In a healthy marriage, both parties should think and act like a team. With that, a little bit of humility goes a long way,” When both can let go of their need to validate their individual stances, then a common ground can be achieved. Remember, each conflict solved through loving teamwork adds to the overall strength of the marriage’s bond.” Important factor of a marriage Includes Love? Trust? Honesty? Of course, these are all important. But one factor that seems to be talked about much less is still communication! The way a married couple discusses their issues, or if they discuss anything at all, is crucial to a sustained and fulfilling marriage. If you are still wondering why is communication important in a relationship or how important is communication for a married couple, read on.
Why is communication important? The importance of communication in marriage is often not taken seriously as many couples tend to think that the daily banter or the lack of it doesn’t affect them on a day-to-day basis. But communication is the vehicle through which all other important parts of marriage are performed. If you love someone, but you don’t use your words and your actions to communicate it, you’re not doing right by your partner. If you trust someone, let them know it. Communicate it to them if you can communicate honestly. Fixing your communication Listening to learn, instead of listening to win an argument. Talking about yourself and asking about the other, instead of assuming you know what the other person thinks or should do.
Lot of people didn’t hear positive models of communication from their parents. Without a strong foundation in skillful communication, it’s easy for emotions to run high and to get off track. Fortunately these skills can be learned at any age. Use your actions to communicate your love, trust, and honesty with your partner. Buy them a thoughtful gift, give them a massage, or help them with a troubling task. Words don’t have to be spoken; your actions will speak for themselves. Yes! There are some simple skills that can make a world of difference. It just takes a bit of practice and a willingness to learn.
Effective communication allows good thoughts and feelings to flow between a couple. With the right skills, bickering, hurt feelings and resentment will go away while happiness and peace will return to you both. Most times the mistakes you often make in the relationship is putting all your trust and hope in a fellow man! learn to trust God all the way and believing in your partner will not hurt so much if their actions starts to fluctuate because you gave room to God also. Man can fail but God never will! Your strength may fail but God never will. Your spouse is human and can fail Flesh may fail but God will never fail. Stay true to yourself and feed your home with positivity.
SAY HANDLE IT OH GOD!!!!!!!! If you’re going through challenges in your home today and believe it. That is not to say you won’t have storms in that relationship, but if both are willing to treat each other with respect,kindness and genuineness of heart,your challenges will be overcome easily. Don’t let ego take over you,you are in-charge not your ego or pride that may cause you to loose your blessings.
Treat each other well and learn to speak up and not shutting the other person down, controlling your anger is crucial.Mirror what you want your spouse to reflect back to you.kindness begets kindness,be a supportive pillar to your spouse and lead by example,l when you love yourself then you can share love to your spouse.You cannot give what you don’t have, self love and respect is 1st man! Remember it takes 2 to tango,you both need to work as a team,don’t be a BULLY within your marriage,lead by example man!constant reevaluation is crucial and watch-out and ask what she is feeling.
If you need tips on how to establish great communication skills,follow us
@ourpathandmind
We are non-profit sex and relationship organizations
Let’s learn together.
Our certified coaches are available to help you through this journey of love, friendships and communication.
#letslearntogether #nonprofitconsultant #ventingroom #followusformore #ourpathandmind
Our Saturdays Guest Columnist, Taiwo Badmus Isong (Tai Isong) is a US-based mother, wife, and Certified Relationship and Sex Consultant. She holds a Bachelors’s Degree in Biochemistry, a Nursing degree, and she’s a Certified Life Coach who has served as a wound specialist. You can contact and follow her on the Facebook group Our Path and Mind. Taiwo’s column will be on this page every Saturday.
Tell us you were here, make a comment and share the post.
©Pegasus Reporters: making news that reach your audience|Advertise with us!|Join our readers’ list on Telegram (+234 813 308 8344) Follow us on Twitter @pegasusreporters | We are on Facebook; The Pegasus Reporters | Chat with the Editor on WhatsApp (+234 815 444 5334) |Contact the Editor or send your articles to pegasusreporters@gmail.com
Read Our Previous Post: EndSARS Anniversary: My message To All Nigerian Youths – Comrade Adeola Samuel-Ilori
