The Seven Stages In Every Successful Marriage Life – Tai Isong

 

Experts agree that this phase happens within the FIVE to SEVEN year range. This is also what most would refer to as the “SEVEN-Year Mark” This phase is accompanied with pain so intense during the misery/ rebellion phase.

PEGASUS REPORTERS, LAGOS | JANUARY 15, 2021

Companionship go through defined stages of development before you hear a couple openly boast of a successful marriage. So when you hear or read of that couple using their marital life as model for younger couples’ emulation, he or she must have gone through certain stages which you won’t usually hear from married elders. Our US-based Marriage and Relationship Counselor, Mrs. Tai Isong, in this edition, itemized and analyze the 7-Stages to a blissful marriage. …Editor

Marriage involves series of stages, or phases, that most couples work through while spending their lives together. Building a successful marriage is a lifelong work and requires commitment from both partners. These phases are designed to strengthen you as a couple so that you can have a strong and more fulfilling relationship and see where to improve on and be informed.

All relationships go through these stages,it doesn’t have to be within the year range some experience the stages earlier than others,but we all go through it.Every stage teaches you about the other person, which might reveal a side of them that you didn’t know about, nor expect they have,your partner isn’t necessarily hiding thus trait,we just don’t see it or ignore it because we are in love and blinded.This is a learning process, and the couple needs to work through the challenges in order to grow. Some couples survive these stages, others don’t. Knowing about the 7 stages of marriage can help you prepare for the emotional roller coaster ahead. There’s going to be a lot of ups and downs,lots of “if” that will surely test your love for each other and your individual mental fortitude and your doubts will be increased and the love for each other will be questioned.Its all normal part of the stages to feel,and ask yourself these questions” what happened to the person I fell in love with”

Here Are The 7 Of Phases of Marriage

1. HONEYMOON PHASE

Also know as “romantic phase”,it’s the tender romantic,sexually attracted and loving time.the “honeymoon” stage of marriage occurs immediately after the wedding through the next several months. When couples first enter into a relationship or marriage, they go through the honeymoon phase. This is the phase when couples are passionate about each other,they crazily over each other, so in love that they feel they know all about each other.. During this stage, your partner (in your eyes) can’t seem to do anything wrong, you might adore their quirks and condone all the red-flags. This phase is characterized by passion, sexual intimacy and infatuation, it is extremely sensitive and volatile, and it thus provides a nurturing environment for marital bonding. Experts believe that the honeymoon phase for most relationships last for 1 to 3 years( it thus varies from one marriage to another). This is a critical stage in a marriage because this is where intimacy and an emotional bond are established. This is also the stage you build trust and communicate more than other phases.The most happiest phase.

2. REALIZATION PHASE

This is the point the bliss of the honeymoon phase begins to fade away and reality starts to set in. In this stage you begin to see your partner for who they really are.realization phase is an epiphany, or awakening,of the “whole picture” of marriage. The awareness that you have married someone who is imperfect, and perhaps displays undesirable or even questionable qualities, can lead to some sober reflections and “what have i gotten myself into moments”. it could also set regrets in! It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but you see them as a human, not the person who made you fall head over heels in love. This stage is often accompanied by disappointment and conflict, especially when you start to live together under one roof. The thing that you used to find cute or admire are now things that sets you in annoyance.

It is important for married couples to acknowledge that certain issues exist and be open enough to discuss them with their partner. You need to be assertive without being disrespectful in order to build a strong foundation for your marriage, especially in terms of handling conflicts.This is the most cricial time to establish a good communication pattern,if you don’t at this phase,it will take a lot of tasking effort and possibly help from external factors to reestablish.

3: REBELLION PHASE

The power struggles may erupt as both spouses claim their turf and draw their lines of defense. In this stage of marriage, husbands and wives begin to realize they married someone with as many vices and shades to them than they could’ve imagine.Each one reverts to re-inventing themselves in new ways that may only partially include the spouse.

The first couple of stages in your marriage are when you compromise. You learn to deal with each other’s quirks even though there are a few struggles along the way. But in this phase you see the differences in each other really come out. The danger of an affair,cheating of different form,addiction of different form,social media conflict all these becomes apparent as disillusionment, conflicts and frustration replace the earlier passion and adjustments. The differences start to become a nagging source of conflict in your relationship. It is called a rebellion phase because you feel the desire to want to change your partner,which is impossible,except the person decides and wants to.

Experts agree that this phase happens within the FIVE to SEVEN year range. This is also what most would refer to as the “SEVEN-Year Mark” This phase is accompanied with pain so intense during the misery/ rebellion phase. It is common to only want it to QUIT, e.g like the pain of a toothache that consumes your whole being, not wanting anything else except for the pain to go away. In this case one spouse may be pushing hard for the divorce, while the other wants to stop divorce and is resistant. Love is often tested to the absolute maximum. This is the phase that most divorce takes place and if the couple ends the marriage at this point and remarry other partners, they are significantly more likely to repeat the same mistakes, and experience the effects of yet another divorce with their second or third spouse.,,,if you do end your marriage at this phase make sure to go through the healing process, IT’S A MUST TO BREAK THIS CYCLE.

This is a fragile phase; don’t take it lightly when issues begin to arise. Due to the conflict within the marriage, some spouses might feel the urge to cheat to console themselves which is not the solution but will definitely bring more havoc and generating trust issues down the line.

4. REASSESSMENT PHASE

You all need to reevaluate yourselves and your relationship from time to time to be sure you are still in alignment with our spouse. Once you overcome the previous stage, you start to realize that the relationship is definitely worth saving.Recommitting themselves to the marriage rather than bailing out,you need evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your union and set to work on reestablishing good values and team effort as a couple while enhancing family life.”these growing together phase” This is the point where you reassess where you are in your marriage at this point,by taking the time to reflect,and establishing free and non judgmental communication style,which will lead you both to closeness and you begin to develop gratitude for what you have built together. Surviving stage three of your marriage also gives you a sense of security within your marriage.

5. REUNION PHASE

Is the phase where you Survive boredom, conflict and temptation thus far, the couple may find peaceful time during their second or third decade together. Suddenly, there is a second opportunity to rediscover each other. As children grow up and go off to college, and one or both spouses settle into satisfying careers, this is an excellent opportunity for you both to focus on each other again, rather than juggling kids, jobs and tensions that come with the territory of marriage. Renewal ceremonies and second honeymoons are becoming more common in this phase as couples renew their love for each other all over again. Remember the sacred sentence “Until death do us part”. It starts to have deep meaning and resonate.

Having children or taking a major step in your relationship makes your marriage stronger. This phase in your relationship lasts for 10 to 20 years. At this point in your marriage, the children are grown, and your careers are pretty solid, Finances are no longer an issue in your marriage, so there is no room for conflict nor worries.

The challenge in your marriage now is to nurture each other’s physical and mental health. It is important for married couples to engage in physical activities to stay fit. When handled with care, this can be a very fulfilling stage in your marriage and thus bring closeness.

6. EXPLOSION PHASE

Also know as “midlife strife phase” Midlife changes are common in women during their 40s and 50s and sometimes in their 30s through biological and emotional adjustments, both sexes may experience a psychological midlife “crisis” experience where they reach the pinnacle of married life or career. They suddenly see the downhill slide of the other half of their lives. The thought of approaching retirement and aging can be so unnerving to some folks that they overreact in an obsessive quest for youth to hold on to their “best years,” sometimes by abandoning their spouses in a quest for a younger person to fulfill their needs,instead of their partner.

With the couple focusing on each other instead of the kids, which comes with its own type of reawakening phase—both good and bad. Compounding these issues are others associated with middle age, such as losing parents, declining health and the loss of a job.

The challenges of your marriage don’t end,bit being able to stay together as one and the commitment by both to want make it work will pay off,even when you are well into the latter stages. The midlife and golden years of your relationship can pose a new set of challenges such as major health problems, financial incapacity, or other life-changing events.

Your marriage can become a source of solace, or it might be tested when you go through this stage. Because this often happens once the children are grown and leave home, it’s no surprise that this phase is considered the “empty nest syndrome”. Couples need to stay strong and committed in order to weather this storm,create memories,build each other up,find companionship in each other right from get go.

7. COMPLETION

Also known as the Fulfillment phase, this stage of your marriage means that you have survived some of the toughest challenges in life. Despite the challenges (internal and external), you remained strong and committed to each other. This is when you can be content and enjoy each other’s company. For some couples, this may entail simply looking back on their earlier years together and being thankful you’ve had each other through good times and bad. For others, the fulfillment phase is “falling in love all over again,” realizing that they have chosen the best possible life partner, and being grateful to have that person in their life as they grow old together. Through thick and thin, they have stood by each other and survived many losses as well as celebrated life’s joys. At this point they have no thought for anyone else, just the satisfaction of being with the person they truly love above all else.

Different stages of marriage may not follow a particular order, you might even experience things that are not included on here, The main point is that few marriages operate in one level of consistently and others might not,but the two people who have chosen to get married but be willing to nurture,sacrifice, serve each other unconditionally. Things happen, Life happens and people go through series of life experiences that can impact the way they feel about a spouse,please learn to communicate big or small how you feel and express your concerns to your partner promptly in a calm manner.

With better understanding of what to expect and how to respond in a marriage that spans several decades, couples have a better chance of sticking together and overcoming the obstacles in their path if they both have right intentions and willingness.

Married people may want to spend some time thinking about the particular marital phase they are in, and deciding what to do about it. Hopefully, in experiencing the various stages of marriage, you will come to understand and appreciate your spouse more. If you have moved into the 3rd and 4th phase and you just can’t get to make it work on your own, we can help and will give you the tools needed to rebuild your marriage and heal from your brokenness.

Most people whose marriages end in divorce are not bad people,but Rather they are people who never learned the proper tools for a happy marriage,most went into marriage without definite expectations.  As with any trials and tribulations in a relationship, the only way to survive the 7 stages of marriage is to stay committed to one another. More marriages would not end up in divorce if couples stuck together during difficult times. Rather than tear each other apart,pointing fingers,start by leaning great communication skills.The more you understand your differences and similarities, the easier it becomes to work out the challenges as a team.

Not all relationships are perfect. But if you can make it through these 7 phases, then you can say that it’s going to (hopefully) last.

If you are in the 3rd or 4th phase and you’ve tried and nothing seems to be working we can help you. Our program is designed to tackle the root and rebuild the foundation on which the marriage is built.

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